Demisexuality & Me


As a Man, most cultures expect me to have a strong sexual desire and seek sex. Since high school to this day I’ve had people perplexed and even ridicule me for not having sex for 6 months to a year at a time. Don’t get me wrong I do like me a curvy lady but I just never felt the impulse to “chase” women for casual sex. It felt borderline asexual at times. I feel awkward being around my home boys and they crucify me for defending my abstinence by saying that chasing random women doesn’t turn ne on. It felt awkward mainly because there was no words to succinctly describe my sexuality until now…Demisexual
A demisexual is a person who can only have sex with someone they have a connection with. Just learning about this word, I feel more comfortable discussing the topic with people instead of feeling odd or defective. Hopefully sharing this can help someone else feel more comfortable with their sexuality and help normal sexuals to better understand thier less freaky friends lol

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16 thoughts on “Demisexuality & Me

  1. Never heard the term, but I actually know a couple of men like that. I like that you’re like that and I hope that my son when he grows up will wait or save it for someone really special. Good luck! Great read!

  2. You know, I’m the same way, but I’ve never heard of the phrase demisexuality. I’ve just always thought that some men are thirstier than others, and people like us just don’t require a drink as often.

    1. James Revels Composer

      Lol that’s a Hilarious way to look at it. Going to have to keep that for the right situation. As for the thirst, I keep it quenched with creativity and studying. I feel as if being intellectually and financial secure precedes sexual security, but having all three doesn’t hurt lol

  3. Kudos to you. Don’t let your peers make you feel uncomfortable with your wise choices. It is to be respected. If more men thought and felt the way you do at your age, IMO relationships would have a better at growing in the right direction! 👍

    1. James Revels Composer

      Thanks and I wish others felt that way, but most people my age see sex like a birthday cake. Something sweet the they can selfishly engorge on as opposed to a family dinner. A meal to be shared between them and their partner.

      1. You have morals and values of a truly good man. Your path to success and rightgestness is paved in gold. You’re so welcome my brother! Blessings and peace!

      2. James Revels Composer

        Thanks you I really appreciate this its made my morning 🙂 Have a blessed day!

    1. James Revels Composer

      Lol in way your right but monogamy is optional. Only prerequisite is you have a connection. Faithfulness depends on the depth of connection and relationship.

  4. Really and truly there is no rule to how sexual a man or woman should be.( As long it’s not harmful to self or other people.) It’s good that you stayed true to how you felt. The term “demisexual” is a new one for me. Where did you learn about it?

    1. James Revels Composer

      One of my friends told me about it. She’s always trying to find words I don’t know definition for. This is one of those words.

  5. I find it interesting someone somewhere picked “demi” which usually means, half, but there’s nothing ‘half’ about the sexuality if anything, it feels more full, perhaps you have also heard the term “sapiosexual” which is being attracted to someone for the their mind, cheers!

  6. thatgirlwiththedarkhair

    It is totally normal not to want to hook up with people randomly, whether you’re a guy or girl. It’s encouraged in our culture for guys to see girls as just another piece of meat, but I actually think that’s not anything admirable or anything to be proud of doing.

  7. Akinyi

    I would call myself demisexual too, as much as I love the look of men, I am not interested in giving myself to just anyone. I need us to align first.

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